Shopkeeper : What do you want? Customer : I want self confidence. The courage to face the world.The strength to take life head on and the stamina to bear the brunt of this cruel world Shopkeeper : ivarige ondu quarter Old Monk Rum, ondu chips packet kodappa!!!

-----------------------------orchid-a-------------------------------------
A TOUCHING story!!! One day a boy walked from school. He saw a monkey lying by the street side as though it was dead. To satisfy his curiosity, the boy came close and touched the monkey to see if it was dead or hurt. He touched the first time there was no response. He then touched the monkey again. He continued touching, touching and touching. Like I said earlier, this is a touching story. Thank you for reading it..

-----------------------------orchid-a-------------------------------------


This joke apparently won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain I came home from work Was tired. Sat down on the sofa, Put my feet up. Wife brought me a glass of water. Son gave me a sheet of paper English. 17 /100 Hindi. 35/100 Maths. 40 /100 Physics 37/100 Chemistry 42/100 I lost my temper Bloody idiot, Duffer, Ullu da pattha, What is this? All the time on phone and TV. How dare you show me such marks? Wife said...ek min suno toh I told her "Shut up. Its your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good. Bloody useless!!!" Wife said...oh ho..sun toh lo I said "Kya sun lo. Reh kya gaya sun ne ke liye. Khandaan ki naak kat gayi. No one in our family has performed so badly ever." Son said... "Papa i was cleaning old almirah. I found this. This is your marksheet." Me.. Son... Wife..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh walks into a bar in London , orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time." Banta Singh replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I'm here in London . When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there. Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He'd order 3 Beers and drink them in turn. One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss." Banta Singh looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs.... "Oh, no," He said, "Everyone's fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is . . I have quit drinking"!!

-----------------------------------------orchid-a----------------------------------

TATTI VANDI....... Keralite passenger is boarding a plane... Air hostess smiles in welcome... "Namaste!" Keralite: "Tatti Vandi!" Air hostess (shocked): "What??" Passesnger: "Tatti Vandi!!" Air hostess calls flight attendant who could understand a little Tamil language... Flight Attendant: "Can I help you, Sir?" Passenger: "Tatti Vandi!!" Flight attendant: "Excuse me sir??" Passenger: "Tatti Vandi" Flight Attendant nodded his head and smiles, and he opens the door of the toilet in the front of the cabin and waves the passenger inside... Passenger gets annoyed and waves the boarding card at him angrily..... Flight attendant looks at the boarding card and bursts out laughing. Controls himself, and says:   "Oh, seat 31D, This way please!!!"

------------------------orchid-a-----------------------------------------------

A King had 10 wild dogs. He used them to torture & kill any minister that misguided him.

A Minister once gave an opinion which was wrong which the king didn’t like at all…
So he ordered that the Minister to be thrown to the dogs.

The Minister said, "I served you loyally for 10 years & you do this..?"

The King was unrelenting.

Minister pleaded, "Please give me 10 days before you throw me to the dogs".

The King agreed.

In those 10 days, the Minister went to the keeper of the dogs & told him he wanted to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…

The Guard was baffled… But he agreed.

So the minister started feeding the dogs, caring for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.

So when the 10 days were up…

The King ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced.

When he was thrown in, everyone was amazed at what they saw...
The dogs were wagging their tails playing with the condemned minister... licking his feet.

The King was baffled at what he saw, "What happened to the dogs?” He growled.

The Minister then said, "I served the dogs for only 10 days & they didn’t forget my service... I served you for 10 years & you forgot all at the first mistake”…

The King realised his mistake

and

Replaced the dogs with crocodiles 🐊!!

Moral : When Management has decided ki tumhaari bajani hai to bajani hi hai... That's Final...
😁

-----------Orchid-----------------

ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಕಾಟ ತಡೆಯಲಾರದೆ ಗುಂಡ ಮಂಚದ ಕೆಳಗೆ ಮಲಗಿದ್ದ.ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಬಂದ ಮಿಂಚುಹುಳವನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಅಂದ್ಕೊಂಡು

"ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಪಾಪಿ....! ಬ್ಯಾಟರಿ ತಗೊಂಡು ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೂ ಬಂದ್ಯಾ ನೀನು ...!!!

----Orchid-a-----

ಶನಿವಾರ ಮಧ್ಯಾಹ್ನ ಸೊಸೈಟಿಗೆ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಜೊತೆ ಅಕ್ಕಿ ,ಸೀಮೆಣ್ಣೆ ತಗೋಳಕ್ ಬಂದಿರೊ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ whatsapp ಸ್ಟೇಟಸ್..

"Weekend shopping with my mom"

-----Orchid-a-----

*Hilarious HR Interview indeed :*

Interviewers ask routine questions to candidates ....Some weird answers....

*Q - Tell us about yourself ?*
A - Yourself is pronoun used when the subject and object of the verb are you!

*Q - Where do you see yourself in 5 years down the line ?*
A - Asking stupid questions to new candidates.

*Q - What are your expectations ?*
A - Salary

*Q - What challenges you faced in your earlier job ?*
A - Staying awake after lunch !!

*Q - Why do you want to join our company ?*
A - Nobody else is taking me. Your  company is closer to my home....

*Q - What attracts you to our company ?*
A - The receptionist !!

*Q - Why you left your previous job ?*
A - Previous company shifted office and they didn't inform me new address !!

*Q -Are you willing to travel 20 days in a month ?*
A - Yes...but just don't ask me where I had gone...!!

-------Orchid-a------

The Indian Farmer

An Indian farmer walking through his field notices a foreigner drinking water from a pond, with his hand.

The Farmer shouts, "Woh paani mat peena. Usmein gayein, bhains or suwar nahate hain, potty karte hain, sussu karte hain! (which means, Don't drink that water, the cows, the buffaloes and the pigs shit and pee in it!)"

The man shouts back, "I'm a foreigner, I don't understand your bloody gibberish. Speak English, you bloody Indian idiot!"

The farmer shouts back in English, "Use two hands dude, you can drink more!"

-----Orchid-a------

Ticket seller : sir no one is buying "hucha venkat " tickets
Hucha venkat  : Nan magand ....Give it free, once public enters, close the door and start selling EXIT tickets @ Rs 200 !!

-----------Orchid-a------

Boy prayed: Oh God give me 1 bag full of money, job, 1 big vehicle & many girls!

GOD: Your wish is fulfilled. (Prayer accepted).

He became a
CONDUCTOR in LADIES BUS .

Be clear in the prayer, ask God what exactly you want....

---Orchid-a----

ಧಾರವಾಡದಾಗ ಒಂದು ಕಾಲೇಜ್ ಒಳಗ ಒಬ್ಬ
intelligent English ಮಾಸ್ತರ ಇದ್ದ
.
ಅದ ಕಾಲೇಜ್ಗೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ ಹೋಗ್ತಿದ್ದ,
ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ ಬಾಳ್ ಶ್ಯಾನೆ ಇದ್ದ ಆದ್ರ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ದಾಗ್
ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಹಿಂದ ಇದ್ದ,

ಒಂದ ದಿನ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಮಾಸ್ತರಿಗೆ
ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ ಕ್ಲಾಸ್ ದಾಗ್ ಎದ್ದ ನಿಂತ ಒಂದು ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಕೇಳ್ತಾನ
"ಸರ್ 'ನಟುರ್' ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನ್ ಸರ್" ?

ಮಾಸ್ತರಗ್ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ..

ನಾಳೆ ನೋಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಬಂದು  ಅದ್ರ ಮೀನಿಂಗ್ ಹೇಳ್ತೇನೋ ಮಂಜು ಅಂತ
ಕ್ಲಾಸ್ ಮುಗ್ಸಿ ಮನಿಗೆ ಬಂದು ಎಲ್ಲ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್
ಡಿಕ್ಷನರಿ,ಗೂಗಲ್ ಒಳಗ,ಎಲ್ಲ ವೆಬ್ಸೈಟ್ ದಾಗ್ ಕಣ್ಣಾಗ ಎಣ್ಣಿ
ಬಿಟ್ಟಕೊಂಡು ಹುಡುಕಿದ್ರು ಆ ಥರ ಶಬ್ದ ಅದ್ರ ಮೀನಿಂಗ್
ಮಾಸ್ತರಗ್ ಸಿಗಲಿಲ್ಲ.

ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ ಪ್ರತಿ ದಿನ ಅದ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಕೇಳ್ತಿದ್ದ "ಸರ್ 'ನಟುರ್'
ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಏನ್ ಸರ್" ?
ನೀವು ಇನ್ನು ಇದರ ಅರ್ಥ ಹೇಳೇ
ಇಲ್ಲ ನಂಗ ಅಂತ ಅಂತಿದ್ದ .

ಮಾಸ್ತರ ದಿನ ತಲಿಕೆಡ್ಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಅರ್ಥ ಹುಡ್ಕತಿದ್ದ ಅದ್ರ ಸಿಗ್ತಿದ್ದಿಲ್ಲ,

ಇವತ್ತ ಹೇಳತೆನಿ ನಾಳೆ ಹೇಳತೆನಿ ಅಂತ ದಿನ ಹಿಂಗ ಹೇಳ್ತಿದ್ದ.

ಮಾಸ್ತರ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಮಲ್ಕೊಂಡಾಗು ಬರಿ ಇದ ಶಬ್ದದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದ್ದ.

ಛೆ ಈ ಶಬ್ದದ ಅರ್ಥ ಹೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರ
ನನ್ನ 30 ವರ್ಷದ experienceಗೆ ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಹೆಸರ ಬರತ್ತ ಅಂತ ಚಿಂತಿ ಮಾಡ್ತಿದ್ದ.

15 ದಿನ ಆದ ಮ್ಯಾಲ..ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಮಾಸ್ತರ ಮಂಜ್ಯಾಗ ಆಫೀಸ್ ರೂಮಿಗೆ ಕರಿಸ್ಕೊತಾನ.

ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ ಮಾಸ್ತರ : ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ ಎಲ್ಲಾರು ಮುಂದ ದಿನ ಇದ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆ ಕೇಳಿ ಮರ್ಯಾದಿ ತಗಿ ಬ್ಯಾಡ ಇದ್ರ ಅರ್ಥ ಜಲ್ದಿ
ಹೇಳತೆನಿ.

ನೀನು ಆ ಶಬ್ದನ ನಂಗ ಬರದು ಕೊಡು
ಅಮೆರಿಕಾದಾಗ್ ,ಲಂಡನ್ದಾಗ್ ಇರೋ ನನ್ನ ದೊಸ್ತರಗೆ ಕೆಳ್ತೆನಿ,ನಾನು ಇನ್ನಷ್ಟ ಸ್ಟಡಿ ಮಾಡ್ತೆನಿ ಇದ ಲಾಸ್ಟ್
option ಉಳದೇತಿ ಈಗ ನಂಗ

ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ: ಹುನ್ರಿ ಸರ್ರ ಬರದ ಕೊಡ್ತೆನಿ...ಇದ ನೋಡ್ರಿ ಆ
ಶಬ್ದ "Nature"
ಅಂತ ಬರದ ಮಾಸ್ತರಿಗೆ ಕೊಟ್ಟ.

ಈ ಶಬ್ದ ನೋಡಿ ಮಾಸ್ತರಿಗೆ BP ನೆತ್ತಿಗೆ ಎರ್ರಿ ಸಿಟ್ಟು ಬಂದು

ಲೇ ನಿಮ್ಮೊನು ಮಬ್ಬ ಸುಳೆಮಗನ ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಬಾಯಗರ ಶಗಣಿ ಹಾಕ,
ಲೇ ಅದು "ನಟುರ್" ಅಲ್ಲಲೇ "ನೇಚರ್" ನಿಮ್ಮೊನು!

ಇಷ್ಟ ದಿನ ನನ್ನ ತಲಿ ಕೆಡ್ಸಿದ್ದಕ್ಕ ನಿನ್ನ 15 ದಿನ ಕಾಲೇಜ್ ಇಂದ ಡಿಬಾರ್ ಮಾಡ್ತೆನಿ ಮತ್ತ ಇಂಗ್ಲಿಷ್ subject ದಾಗ್
ನಿನ್ನ ಫೇಲ್ ಮಾಡ್ತೆನಿ ಅಂತ ಅಂದ್ರು

ಅದಕ್ಕ

ಮಂಜ್ಯಾ :
ಸರ್ರ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಾಲ ಹಿಡ್ಕೊತೆನಿ ಪ್ಲೀಸ್ ಹಂಗ ಮಾಡ ಬ್ಯಾಡ್ರಿ ಸರ್ರ,
ನನ್ನ 'ಫುಟುರ್' (Future) ಹಾಳ ಆಗತ್ತ ಅಂದ

---Orchid-a---

A girl at bustop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation she told " i love u"

Man placed his hand on her head: " this love and infatuation all are nothing,
Go back to ur home and study hard so that u can lead a successful life"

Man then placed a piece of paper in her hand:" i have written some wisdom for you.read before u sleep" and went away..

Girl went back to hostel with tears and before sleep she opens the paper.

"Are you blind?my wife was standing behind me..anyways this is my number call me anytime..by the way.. i love u too!"

MEN ARE MEN..

-----Orchid-a-------

In Japan, in a soap manufacturing company the soap blocks were made,
then wrapped in a wrapping paper automatically on an assembly conveyer belt
and finally packed in cartons...

Many a times it happened that the wrapping machine wrapped the paper without soap. i.e. you had an empty packet without soap.

To rectify this problem the Japanese company bought a X-ray scanner from the US for $60,000 to check on the  assembly line whether the container contained soap and wasn't empty. 

A similar problem happened at Nirma soaps, in Ahmedabad in INDIA.. Guess what they did????

They bought a bajaj fan costing around Rs.1500/- and placed it on the edge of the assembly line.
The empty wrappers, without soaps just blew away!!!

And You Say Japanese are Advanced in Technology.

We are
INCREDIBLY
BRILLIANT INDIANS

Share it
Dont laugh alone

WhatsApp collection http://whatsapplibrary.blogspot.com/

-----Orchid------

Modi after all his foreign trips asked his PA which country remaining to visit.

PA: Sir we have visited all countries now we can plan to go Moon n u will b the first PM to land on the Moon.

Modi confirmed his Moon trip. After landing on the Moon he was shocked to see 2 man on the Moon. When he asked who are you two?

Reply was awesome :






Group admin: Hi guys, adding Lakshmi to the group. Lakshmi is new to town as well. So...  Lakshmi: Hi all....  Member # 1: Hiiiii....  Member # 2: Hi Lakshmi... How are you?  Member # 3: Hey Lakshmi... Let me know if you need any help, OK.  Member # 4: Hi..  Member # 5: what's your full name Lakshmi?  Lakshmi: Veera Venkata Lakshmikanth ಗೋಖಲೆ. (Pin drop silence in the group)

-------------------------------orchid-a------------------------------------------------------

Sir mai cameraman k saath Deepak chaurasia .. AaJ Tak

Sabse Tez

--------------Orchid------------

ಸ್ತ್ರೀ ಎಂದರೆ "ಶಕ್ತಿ"
ಪುರುಷ ಎಂದರೆ "ಸಹನ ಶಕ್ತಿ"
ಉದಾಹರಣೆ :-
ಬಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಿಸುವಾಗ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಭುಜಕ್ಕೆ ಒರಗಿ ನಿದ್ರಿಸಲು ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಅವಳು ಎದ್ದು ಕೆನ್ನೆಗೆ ಒಂದು ಏಟು ಕೊಡುತ್ತಾಳೆ..
ಆದರೆ,
ಒಂದು ಹುಡುಗಿ ಒಬ್ಬ ಹುಡುಗನ ಭುಜಕ್ಕೆ ಒರಗಿ ನಿದ್ರಿಸಲು ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಆ ಹುಡುಗ ರಾಮನಗರದಲ್ಲಿ ಇಳಿಯುವವನಿದ್ದರೆ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನ ಅವಳ ನಿದ್ರೆಗೆ ತೊಂದರೆ ಆಗಬಾರದೆಂದು ಹಾಗೆಯೇ ಪ್ರಯಾಣಿಸುತ್ತಾನೆ..!

------------Orchid-----------------

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room . The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experience stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first  occasion but died instantly the second time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still couldn't? Then see below.........

Think hard

Common.............

Tired....?

Wanna know the answer????

Okay........ here is the Answer............

During the first  time the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the second time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!! Physics never go wrong....

Don't look  at me!! I am also looking for the Person who sent me this...

------------Orchid-----------------

One Do..:)
Area Do
More Who?
Null Q
I Do
Are You?
Yell You!
Ant You :0
Oh Ma But You
Hate You..

Confused

Its an american trying to count number from one to ten in Kannada

read it once again

-------------orchid--------------

A TRUE STORY-VERY SHOCKING....
Very Shocking....... .

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Coimbatore

Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar.

Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone.
You would never find her without handphone.

She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knew about their relationship. . Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love) .

Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people cld'nt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so,but still can't. Everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same.
Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.

He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly..
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.

He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.

All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away..

After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :.....'Aunty, I'm coming home today.. Cook something nice for me.

Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'
Her mother replied..... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.'

After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'.

Then they show him the original death certificate to him.

They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He said... 'Its not true.. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.

Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang.. 'see this is from Priya, see this....' he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode..

All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the grave box
They were so shocked and asked for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of dead person) help again. He brought his master to solve this matter.

He & his master worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them....

Vodafone has the best coverage
'Where ever you go, our network follows!!!'

Don't shout at me . . . I am also looking for the idiot who sent me this.... So, now you too should forward this to all your nearest and dearest...and enjoy it like I did

-----------Orchid--------------

Great lines by K.V.Ramachandra:

"Change cannot be given to you everytime. You must bring the change"

Who is K.V. Ramachandra?
He is a bus conductor. Now read it again.

----------Orchid------------

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:
 
WINDOWS:   Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
 
USER:   boiled cabbage
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
   
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
 
USER:  50bloodyboiledcabbages
 
 

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
  
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER:   50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS:   Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
 
USER :  IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow
 
 
WINDOWS:   Sorry, that password is already in use.
(This joke won an award for the Best Joke in a competition held in Britain)

------------Orchid--------------

Sardar ring a call centre,
"My internet is not working properly."

Officer:
"Ok
Double click on "My computer"

Sardar:
"I can't see ur computer"

Officer:
"No no
click on "My computer" on ur computer."

Sardar:
"How can I click on ur computer from my computer?"

Officer:
"Listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on ur computer. Double click on it."

Sardar:
"What  the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?"

Officer:
"Double click on ur computer."

Sardar:
"On which Icon i've to click?"

Officer:
"My Computer"

Sardar:
"Oh Teri......Pagal insaan
Tell me where is ur office. I'll come there and click on ur "Computer."

---------------Orchid--------------

guy was in love with a girl but never
had the
guts to tell her. One night around at
night, he
gathered some courage & sent her a
text with
these honest words... "Doreen, I love
you, I
wonna date you. Plz reply & tell me
how you
feel."
A few seconds later he received a
message alert
on his phone. He was so scared and
too tensed
to open it that night so he decided not
to check
the message until the next morning
when he's
less tense and in better senses. So he
went to
sleep.
When he woke up the next day he
prayed
seriously about the message for good
news, went
about doing his morning chores,
brushed his
teeth, ate his breakfast, took a bath,
dressed
himself up then climbed into bed and
picked his
phone to read the message on his
phone. This
was the response he read: "Dear
customer you
have insufficient balance to send this
message.
Please recharge your account and try
again".
Don't laugh alone!Share it..

---------------Orchid--------------

Boy: hii...
Girl: hii...
Boy: tindi aithaa?!
Girl: y r u asking these typ silly
questions..??..
Boy: okay...thn tell me ur opinion abt the
liberalisation of indian
economy and the foreign direct
investment in the deffence sector nd
railways..??!!!!...
Girl: tindi aithu.  idli chatni....nind aithaa ??

----------------Orchid---------

Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order

New bird
Neighbour bird
Old bird
Upstair bird
Hospital bird
Insurance bird
College bird
Super market bird

Finally she checks her number. and it was saved as

Angry bird"

-------------orchid-----------------

. ಹ್ರುದಯ ಕಲಕುವ ಕಥೆ.
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ಪಿಂಟು ಗೆ ಹಾರ್ಟ್ ಪ್ರಾಬ್ಲಮ್ ಇತ್ತು…
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ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಉಪ್ಪನ್ನು ತಿನ್ನಬೇಡವೆಂದು ಸಲಹೆ
ನೀಡಿದರು…
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ಅವತ್ತಿನಿಂದ ಪಿಂಟು ಉಪ್ಪು ತಿನ್ನುವುದನ್ನೆ
ಮರೆತು ಬಿಟ್ಟ…
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ಪಿಂಟು ತನ್ನ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಊಟದಲ್ಲಿಯೂ ಡಯಟ್
ಮಾಡಲು ಶುರುಮಾಡಿದ…
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ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಹೇಳಿದಂತೆ ವ್ಯಾಯಾಮ
ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ…
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ಪಿಂಟು ಉಪ್ಪನ್ನ ತಿನ್ನಲೆ ಇಲ್ಲ…
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ಪ್ರತಿನಿತ್ಯ ಔಷಧಿಗಳನ್ನು ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತ
ಿದ್ದ…
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ಆಕಸ್ಮಿಕವಾಗಿ ಒಂದು ದಿನ ಪಿಂಟು ಹ್ರುದಯ
ಸಮಸ್ಯೆಯಿಂದ ಸತ್ತು ಹೋದ…
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ಸರಿಯಾದ ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಔಷಧಿ
ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದ, ವ್ಯಾಯಾಮ
ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಆದರೆ ಅವನು ಯಾಕೆ ಸತ್ತ…?
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ಪೋಸ್ಟ್ ಮಾರ್ಟಮ್ ರಿಪೋರ್ಟ್ ನೋಡಿದ
ಮೇಲೆ ನನಗೆ ಅವನು ಯಾಕೆ ಸತ್ತ
ಎನ್ನುವುದು ತಿಳಿಯಿತು…
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ಅವನ ಟೂತ್ ಪೇಸ್ಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ 'ಉಪ್ಪು' ಇತ್ತು…
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ಏನೂ… ನಿಮ್ಮ ಟೂತ್ ಪೇಸ್ಟ್ ನಲ್ಲಿ
ಉಪ್ಪು ಇದ್ಯಾ…??